When Jamie doesn't reply to the three e-mails I send him I leave a note in his pigeon hole telling him he ought to check with the Computer Centre that his mail account is working.

I also suggest he drop in and see me sometime over the weekend as I'll be around working on an essay. But although I hardly leave my room, just to eat or buy cigarettes and the paper from the Union Shop, he doesn't come round. At first I tell myself he's probably gone home for the weekend, but then I get paranoid and worry he's avoiding me; that Thursday night was just something he wants to forget.

I don't get it because I thought he had a good time. Surely he would've stopped me doing the things that I did if he wasn't interested?

Thinking like this makes me start to feel bad about myself, but I try and put these thoughts from me because I HAVE to finish this essay for Monday. I've already got an extension and I can see my lecturer being well pleased if I go and ask for another one. What could I say anyway? I couldn't write my essay because I spent the whole weekend worrying about why this bloke I picked up in the LCR on Thursday hasn't got in touch. I'd sound well pathetic.

I think about calling my mum and telling her that I'm not enjoying university as much as I thought I would, but I don't even do this because I don't want to worry her. Besides, she'd only suggest I came home for a bit.

What's happening to me? Why doesn't anyone want me? What's wrong with me?